Senseless tragedies. Lives shattered. Immediate & permanent loss. Chaos. Shock. Disbelief.
This is not new. Nor unique. At any given time we will find a multitude of events globally.
Each and every one painful, emotional, confusing to those of us directly involved, those of us looking in, and, as gently as I can say this….what about the perpetrators?
There is a human story to tell. Backgrounds to each life that lead us to this result. Even the ‘bad guy’.
Just this morning I was up way too early and looking for a movie. I come across ‘Patriots Day’, thinking it was an old Harrison Ford movie, I turned it on and am brought back instantly to one such erratic moment in time almost 5 years ago, the Boston marathon bombing.
So many things run through my mind. Thoughts of the senselessness of violence, based simply upon differences of opinion or belief, or worse yet, greed and power. Feelings of empathy and peace and healing for all those who face these tragedies head on, as my heart swells with love for those with the strength to endure and overcome. Along with my own hopes and fears for the children of our world, including my own.
I find myself, almost 5 years later, feeling and experiencing my own small part of this particular event and all that I did on that day and the week that followed, after having one of the clearest visual premonitions I have had to date, and in trying to understand what it all meant.
There were many unexplainable moments during that time for me, each of them etched in my mind. Most vividly a vision during my morning meditation, in which I saw a beautiful and light filled spirit. As I was trying to decipher who this was, so golden bright I actually thought it was Jesus at first, its light faded and kind of zoomed in closer to see the light in his eyes turn black. Though I didn’t know it at the time he turned into ‘suspect #2’ as I watched.
I remember it being a Monday (April 15, 2013) and I was in my den doing an early morning meditation after my boys left for school. I had not yet heard of the bombing that occurred later that day but I did experience anxiety and a growing sense of ‘something occurring in the world’, which though not very much fun was common for me at this stage of my development as I picked up on world energies of unrest and turmoil.
So vivid, so clear, this transformation from good to evil. This instantaneous shift was like a blow that literally took my breath away. But in that instant I knew the point: We each have the capability to become. Our best or our worst. The brightest light or one who brings darkness. Along with: this person I was seeing was unsupported in the light.
Watching it all unfold was even more surreal. I had no idea who this face was. I simply knew I should turn on the tv and watch the news. Something I don’t typically do unless this feeling of unease needed to be identified. Once I saw the bombing news I knew this was related and normally, when the source of this energy is known, my anxiety tends to subside. Then I started seeing photos on the news of this particular face on that Thursday.
Mind blown. Why would I be shown such a thing and experience the panic and urgency when there is nothing I can do about it, nor do I even know what ‘it’ is before it occurs… ? What good can come of understanding after the fact?
Part of the answer to that came days later as I visited with a beautiful healer, mentor and friend, Kathryn, who almost immediately said to me “You saw ‘number 2”. Mind blown yet again.
But, her insight was that this was shown to me as a confirmation. To trust myself and the information I receive. A tough one for someone who has always been taught that her feelings and thoughts were wrong or didn’t quite matter… the impact of this experience was tangible.
But, why do I find myself here today? Thrust back into the feelings and lessons of it all?
To me this holds importance. Something happening now that will need the lesson of then…
And as I think about trust, I know also that I immediately felt safe and protected. At no time, during that vision, did I feel that I was in danger. I do remember calling upon Archangel Michael and beings of the light at virtually the same time I realized what was occurring in my vision. You know how sometimes we think we may respond one way but never quite know until we are in that situation… so this is a good thing.
Flash forward to this morning. I unexpectedly found a movie portrayal that linked me to a time in my life where I learned some pretty intense things about myself and others. Though I may not have understood them completely in the moment, I see how very critical they are to my sense of well being, along with a better grasp of these gifts that continue to open up in me.
Emotion and gratitude are what I am left with. The depth of the human spirit, our connection and our resiliency. At the end of ‘Patriots Day’ the feelings conveyed by Patrick Downes, just one of the many injured that day, is what I take forward with high hopes that more and more of us choose and support the light:
“Two people took many days and weeks to plan out hate but Love responded in an instant.”
In his reflection of the many other senseless acts of hate around the world he speaks of the importance of thinking of each affected “not as victims of violence, but as ambassadors for peace.”
Boston Strong. Thank you.